Listing

Jan 31st Dream Themes version of Bergerac sounding immense. We play the Buffalo Bar on Tuesday with The Chap and, er, Situationists. 5 quid! Bargain!  Link
Jan 30th Unsure whether to confess to my girlfriend that I watched “Aerobics Oz Style” on Sky Sports 3 while slumped on the sofa this afternoon.  Link
Jan 30th Just found myself singing along to the Stranglers when I made some toast. “Pop the bread down, comes up golden brown.”  Link
Jan 29th I once wandered into Ye Olde Axe on Hackney Road by accident. (Strippers.) I wouldn’t make that mistake with the British Lion. (Racists.)  Link
Jan 29th It’s only defamation if someone has read it  Link
Jan 28th Have an inexplicable need to watch the Japan Airlines exercise video that they play first thing in the morning. Incredibly soothing.  Link
Jan 28th If I were to sum up my philosophy of life it would be this: “Crystals don’t have any energy, you twat.” I’m thinking of starting a church.  Link
Jan 28th I’d just like to point out that Sri Lankan stout is one of the less appetising beers on offer at your local Tooting store. Think Bovrilade.  Link
Jan 27th Whoo! Internet Explorer 8! Anyone?  Link
Jan 27th On the South Bank for a meeting which could determine the fate of humanity as we know it, and also amphibians.  Link
Jan 26th Researching pederasty. I should emphasise that this is from a historical perspective, not as a possible career move.  Link
Jan 26th When will the pea-brained public realise that the Mail and Murdoch have a financial interest in flaying the BBC on a daily basis. BLIND FURY.  Link
Jan 25th Tim Minchin, Brian Gittins, Mr B, Kristen Schaal, all stunning. I should go to more comedy nights.  Link
Jan 24th Bowls. BBC2. Bowls. Amazing. Bowls. Wow. Hello? Oh.  Link
Jan 24th Looking at a poster at The Windmill for a band called Lime Headed Dog, and their new single “Kfum and Kfuk”. Gotta love that kind of thing.  Link
Jan 23rd Just had to plead with a cabbie not to use satnav after he seemed desperate to take me to Bleinheim Gdns, Southsea, rather than Brixton.  Link
Jan 23rd The number of times supermarket cashiers “forget” to give me my £20 or £30 cashback smacks of a wider conspiracy against balding writers.  Link