Noel Gallagher, Damon Albarn and Dido are among the latest stars to make desperate phone calls to secure themselves a place on the Band Aid charity record and boost their chances of appearing on a Xmas No 1 single, organiser Midge Ure has said.

He is also hoping that Radiohead star Thom Yorke and Robbie Williams will shortly realise that their absence on such a record could seriously affect their record sales and possibly portray them as uncaring, unfeeling, racist haters of the malnourished.

Blur singer Albarn will do it as part of his side-project Gorillaz in order to remain slightly distant and aloof from the whole sorry debacle, while Oasis star Noel Gallagher has told Bob Geldof that he hasn't been in the media much recently, and could do with the publicity.

Travis and Beverley Knight are also signed up, while Jamelia and Katie Melua are among other artistes who were harangued by their management at 7.30am this morning to add their names to the list.

“It's a pretty big line-up,” Ure said. “Once you've got a well-publicised charity effort started, they swarm round like flies round sh!t. At the last count we had confirmed 8,000 singers, 2,000 guitarists, 780 drummers and Howard Jones.”

The original Band Aid featured artists including Duran Duran, U2, Sting and George Michael, selling 3.5 million copies in the UK alone to raise money for Duran Duran, U2, Sting and George Michael.

Ure said artists were “very willing” this time around, but they would not try to recreate the spirit of the original as he's lost his sleigh bells.

“I'm desperate to hear Keane and Coldplay just open that tune up with their pianos.” Hm. “Are you sure?” we asked. “Yes, yes,” he replied, dollar-signs appearing across his eyes, “and then The Darkness could play the harmony guitar bits at the end.” “That'll be awful,” we said. “No it won't,” countered Ure.

Many artists have said they will drop whatever they are doing to record the song, including tending to sick and elderly relatives and picking up the children from school.

Bookmakers have already stopped taking bets on it topping the festive chart because it is already a “virtual certainty” to be the best-seller, but have started taking bets on the unlikelhood of Status Quo to open the inevitable charity event next summer at Wembley Stadium. We contacted Rick Parfitt for a quote. He said “Uh?”

Beverley Knight said the project is currently “bigger than me, bigger than my ego, but that shouldn't be for too long.”

“To think 20 years later, I'm going to be involved in that same project because the problem has not gone away is f*cking amazing, I can't wait,” she said.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/music/3943933.stm