Jenny saw a product in a shop yesterday called “Juicy Cake”. I'm having problems shifting this concept from the forefront of my brain. What I'm hoping, right, is that it's some cake, with a liquid centre. Juicy, if you will. Of course, cake isn't renowned for its dry-seal properties, so you would imagine that most of the juice would leak out by the time it reached the consumer. Annoying, huh. Maybe they just mean it's a moist cake. But I tell you, if I end up buying some Juicy Cake, squeezing it, and I don't get a few drops of liquid out, it's going right back to the shop.

I saw a product in a shop two days ago called “Hawaiian Sandwich”. The other sandwiches on the shelf had labels which clearly indicated the contents of the sandwich – you know, bacon, lettuce, tomato, or stilton, grapes and watercress (if you prefer). But the Hawaiian sandwich had a nondescript, colourless filling that gave no clue as to what it might taste like. I peered at it. Scanned the list of ingredients. There were probably 4 lines of antioxidants and suchlike before the first clue: reconstituted pork meat. A couple of lines later, pineapple is mentioned. The sandwich came in at an unsurprisingly reasonable £1.54. “It's the taste that counts!” was the slogan across the top, presumably because “it's the preservative quality of our additives that counts” wouldn't fit. If only the citizens of Hawaii knew the disappointing snacks that were being flogged in their name, they'd surely break out of a hula session and have a lie down.

I have been privileged to see the complete list of Oyster card error codes, sellotaped to a London Underground ticket barrier. Error 82 signified “illogical use of ticket”.

On Saturday I saw 's band, Sarandon, who were good, but man alive, Kitty, Daisy & Lewis tore the place apart. An amazing family. If you've never seen a 12-year old girl blow a harmonica like a veteran bluesman, you've not lived.

Just prior to that gig I saw this car, without Batman in it:

And yesterday on a walk up the Dollis Valley I saw this hideous house about here. I bet the neighbours were pleased when they got that done.

If you're still bored after that lot – and I can scarcely believe that you are – do get your bottoms over to and add to the fun. It's creative writing inspiration for the 21st century. Like, you know, that folding-the-piece-of-paper-and-passing-on game, but in reverse. Or something. Rules here.