Before you all start screaming, there is a point to this following sentence. I joined an online Hall & Oates mailing list. In my email this morning was a cheery welcome note:

Welcome to the group, Rhodri! We're glad to have you as a member!!!

Nothing so strange about that. But a little later on in the email, I start to become concerned as to whether this is really the right forum for me.

Also, if you're into arts & crafts, you can visit another website that is also an extension to our group, where you'll find a variety of arts & crafts projects that you can do, featuring Hall & Oates photos. They are the projects that are featured here every weekend.

I became dizzy with expectation, and also nausea. I don't want to even think about arranging carefully cut-out moustaches of John Oates into a tasteful table mat or doily, let alone actually spend time doing it.

A couple of hours later, another email turns up:

As summertime is fast approaching, many people begin to attend concerts, while others attend concerts throughout the year. So, we thought it fitting to put together a series of craft ideas that will take you from now, into the summer, where you can feature your Hall & Oates photos/names/initials, in a variety of ways, that would be suitable, as a fan, for you to use while possibly attending one of their concerts.

While this weekend's project doesn't exactly feature a photo, it can if you decide to weave a picture charm into the design. At any rate, this weekend's project is a, ”Hemp Necklace and/or Bracelet.” Hemp jewelry has been around for forever, it seems, and these necklaces and bracelets can be quite trendy, especially when you use different colors of dyed hemp. This item is something that you can make for yourself or any of your fellow concert going friends, family members, etc. Of course, as usual, you can improvise if you like, as I know we sure will!

I shall not be improvising. Nor shall I be attending one of their concerts while toting a Darryl Hall bangle, or a John Oates quilt. The very idea. If there were ever an ill-forged alliance, it's between raffia basket work and white-boy Philadelphia soul. Shudder.