I was recently alerted to the similarity of the call of the yellowhammer and the phrase “A little bit of bread and no cheese”. The same ornithologist also advised me of another bird, whose name I forget and whose name isn't thrown up by a search on the internet, whose call across the treetops bears a striking resemblance to the common conversational gambit: “I did it, I did it, I did it, NO! YOU did it, YOU did it!”

I've spent the last, uh, 3 minutes researching this further, to present you with a little light relief this lunchtime. Simply match the name of the bird to the phrase that their tweeting conjures up. First prize: A weekend's twitching with Bill Oddie in southern Sweden.

Birds

1.Grey Wagtail
2.Wren
3. Robin
4. Blackbird
5. Starling
6. Goldfinch
7. Linnet
8. Skylark
9. Reed Bunting
10. Meadow Pipit

Calls

A. “Left here, left here, left here – no! Right! Right! Right ! Right!”

B. “Eeeuuuurrrgggh! Put it in your pocket. Eeeuuuurrrgggh! Put it in your pocket.”
C. “Alles zusammen: Datenbankanwendungen!”
D. “Pardon? Pardon? Pardon? Pardon? Pardon? Oh.”
E. “Pump up the volume, pump up the volume, pump up the volume, tweet, tweet.”
F. “A boob-tube's a rude-tube. A boob-tube's a rude-tube.”

G. “The sixth sheiks sixth sheets – ah, b0llocks.”
H. “I really, really, really, really, really, really, really like you.”
I. “It may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court.”
J. “Got it. Got it. Got it. Need. Need. Got it. Need. Got it. Need. Need.”