Bomb Smuggled On Plane Inside Bomb
“We Never Thought Of Looking There” Say Customs Officials

Airlines across the world were in a state of confusion and bewilderment today after hearing of the latest in a series of security blunders which has beleagured the air industry.

A passenger of Arabic appearance travelling on a British passport under the name Dafydd Jones was being held by Canadian authorities in Toronto last night after apparently having managed to smuggle a bomb on the Air Cymru flight from Cardiff to Vancouver. The bomb was said to have been hidden inside a bomb. Customs officials at Cardiff International Airport were said to be “perplexed” last night, as to how the device could have got past their noses. “We made all the usual checks, but to be honest it never occurred to us to look inside the bomb that Mr Jones was carrying,” said an airline representative.

A fellow passenger on the flight, Mrs Caroline Talbot, described to reporters how the scenario unfolded. “The gentleman had a thick Middle Eastern accent and introduced himself to other passengers as “um, Dafydd”. We found that slightly strange, and a few of us were also slightly non-plussed by the round, black object he was carrying with the word “BOMB” written on the outside.”

“Then about four hours into the flight, he started shouting that he had a bomb inside this bomb he was carrying. The stewardesses were rolling their eyes, tutting, and saying things like ‘can you believe it?’ to each other. Then a group of 16 rugby players who happened to be sitting a few rows back went up to the man and took his bomb away from him. One of the guys, I think he must have been the captain of the side, opened up the bomb, and sure enough, there was a bomb inside. But as the Arabic guy no longer had it in his hands, we all stopped panicking a bit. Then we heard that the plane had been diverted to Toronto. For the rest of the journey we just heard the man occasionally wailing ‘give me back my bomb’, which to be honest was a bit annoying as we were trying to watch ‘Jumanji’ on the in-flight video.”

Steve McCreedy, a member of the rugby squad which disarmed the man, described how it was a question of act now, think later. “All I knew was that it would be better all round if WE had the bomb rather than him having the bomb. So we nabbed it when he wasn’t looking.” His wife Alison described him as “her hero” shortly afterwards.

Following the incident, which was described as “embarrassing” by Air Cymru, immediate measures were taken at check-in desks across the United Kingdom. “We clearly have to enforce a higher level of scrutiny as far as passenger’s bombs are concerned”, said an airline official. Home Secretary Stephen Byers described the ploy used by Mr Jones as “cunning beyond belief”, and called for airlines to introduce compulsory x-raying of all bombs or bomb-related material being taken onto flights leaving the UK. “We are never again going to allow members of a terrorist organisation to outwit us in this fashion,” said Mr Byers at a press conference, before being ushered into a waiting car by four men wearing kaffiyehs and with gelignite strapped to their midriffs.

Passengers leaving Cardiff airport were understandably nervous last night whilst waiting to board the aircraft whisking them away to their holiday destinations. Said Mr Alan Forrest, a systems analyst from Bridgend: “I can understand Air Cymru having to take additional measures, but honestly, we’ve been waiting for over 3 hours now while they go through not only MY bombs but also those of my wife and three children. Next year I’ll be spending Christmas at home in Wales, thank you very much.”