“Blizzard!” emailed Will. It landed in my inbox. “Watch London grind to a
spectacular halt,” I replied. I left my flat for what should have been a
painless jaunt across town to meet up with my sister for her birthday
celebrations, and, as I predicted, the Northern Line had shut down
completely, south of Kennington. Nothing to do with the freeze, though; the
opposite element was to blame. Fire! On a train at Stockwell, apparently.
I'm not sure what drives people to set fire to trains at Stockwell, but as
the famous Two Ronnies joke goes, “there's a lot of arson about.”

I had to walk through driving sleet and snow for 25 minutes to get to Balham
station. My trousers were soaked, and my bag, which contained a barcode
(you've got to love a family member who asks for a barcode for their
birthday), was getting soggy, within and without. The weather didn't let up;
people were exchanging grim farewells in the ticket hall before intoning the
words: “I'm going to Platform 2. I may be some time.”

I made it, eventually. Steve, a former lecturer of mine and the man who
actually encouraged me to submit a dissertation on Trout Mask
Replica, was one of the guests. He regaled us with tales of another
former lecturer who was eventually sacked for overwhelming drunkenness and
dogged pursuit of various female students. This particular man used to teach
me “conducting”. No wonder that my skills with the baton are to be found
wanting, after having received instruction from a sexually-frustrated man
who was generally p!ssed out of his head.

A great deal of amusement was had. I wish I had a better memory for funny
conversation, though. Jenny shares my concern on this topic. I usually try
and reassure myself by thinking that there'll be more amusing conversation
along in a few minutes, and there generally is, but I inevitably forget that
as well. You can't sit in a pub with a dictaphone and a notebook, though.
People will end up hating your guts. But imagine remembering every belly
laugh you've ever had, at the same time. You'd explode. It would be like
having lunch with , or something.

Anyway, look at this rather excellent
website.