Sharing a page with Oliver Burkeman, today! Marv.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1394143,00.html

The anti-corrosive lubricant WD40 already has a name for itself as a multi-purpose problem solver. Not only does it erase crayon and aid in the dismantling of chandeliers, it also plays a part in the battle against drugs. By spraying a film of WD40 on all flat surfaces in the toilets of his Swindon bar, Carl Brown has drastically reduced the level of cocaine use on his premises; it has the effect of semi-dissolving the drug on contact, rendering it unsniffable – and a £60 gram of powder stripped of any mind-altering properties is a most unpopular thing.

As cocaine booms in popularity across Britain, so do the methods employed to stop its spread. Although it is not unheard of for the wildly adventurous to openly hoover cocaine off the bar, users traditionally head for the privacy of the toilets to draw up a line – and it is here that some of the more innovative schemes are taking shape. A common police recommendation is to employ toilet attendants to check on surreptitious activity, but Dan Mountain, spokesman for Avon and Somerset police, concedes that this is not always a realistic option. “It's impossible to monitor people constantly; that's why we're recommending WD40. It's a more practical alternative.”

Another, less invasive method is to remove those requisite flat, smooth surfaces that inevitably test positive for drug traces. Mounting cisterns behind walls cuts users' options by approximately half. Toilet seat covers are an increasingly rare sight, and on premises where the integrity of the bathroom suite is more highly valued, cubicle doors are sawn off at the top and bottom to give only the scantest privacy. A Birmingham publican recently rendered his toilets coke-proof by smearing Vaseline on them, but this may have driven away more people than he intended. Other establishments have taken a more design-savvy approach to the problem by making surfaces slope alarmingly. Bars such as Woody's in west London and clubs such as Fabric have become renowned for their incompatibility with cocaine use.

Those who view charlie as an integral part of their night out will surely find ways around these problems, but if you're desperate enough to try and consume stuff that has been “cut” with WD40, beware. The side of the can advises that, if you ingest the contents, you should “call doctor immediately”. And when you do, you may have some explaining to do.