Fortnum And Mason really need to streamline their Christmas puddings line, it's horribly confusing. I don't really mind which one of them does it, Fortnum or Mason, although it seems that they might be dead, and I should probably address my blind fury to Canadian billionaire W Garfield Weston and his granddaughter Jana Weston Khayat. Further research into Fortnum and Mason via that trustworthy information source, Wikipedia, reveals that

In 1964, a huge four-ton clock was installed at the shop's premises as a tribute to its founders. Every hour four-foot models of William Fortnum and Hugh Mason emerge and bow to each other, with chimes and 18th century-style music playing in the background.

I'm not a regular visitor to Fortnum and Mason, which might explain why I've never experienced this piece of entertainment. I tell you what I would like to see, though, and that's a huge four-ton clock installed in Tooting, where every hour 4-foot models of Daryl Hall and John Oates emerge and bow to each other, with chimes, and I Can't Go For That (No Can Do) playing in the background. I shall write to Wandsworth Council immediately. Speaking of which, look at this magnificent testemonial on the Council website:

I saw that last week, and keep going back to have a look to boost my spirits. I may compile my own list of things that are just OK, but describe them as excellent, just to keep myself going. “Ratios are excellent.” “Tin is excellent.” And so on.

Anyway, the Christmas pudding thing. They have a Number 1 pudding, a Number 2 pudding, a Number 3 pudding and a Number 4 pudding. The Number 1 pudding is a small pudding, which serves one or two people. The Number 4 pudding is gigantic and serves Berkhamsted. I needed a Number 2 pudding. You can buy them in either a ceramic or plastic basin, with a 10 quid difference between the two. But you can't tell from the packaging whether the pudding is encased in plastic or ceramic. So I picked one at random and took it to the checkout, hoping beyond hope that I didn't have a pudding in a ceramic basin. As it goes, I didn't. Phew. Actually, it's not that confusing, is it. Carry on, Fortnum and Mason, you're doing just fine.