Fans crowded into Millenium Square in Leeds to watch the game on a big screen. Ian West, 26, said: “There was no way in the world that I was going to miss this game. If work hadn't let me go early, I would have preferred to walk out and lose my job than miss this.”

And then regretted having done so as soon as the final whistle blew. Cretin.

I had to run an errand of mercy to Muswell Hill last night, carrying a spare suitcase. I imagined that I was as strong as an ox, lifting the (empty) case with a couple of fingers, and then, while on the tube, manoeuvring it in an out of the carriages with consummate skill and ease, not like the other people with suitcases who were sweating like pigs, straining to lug the things through the sliding doors only to get them wedged in the “gap” between the train and the platform, which they have singularly failed to “mind”. I imagined them all looking at me, thinking “Goodness, he's a strong capable man who has no problems toting a heavy suitcase.” Of course, they were probably thinking “That there fat boy's lucky, having an empty suitcase.”