There's a nice leaflet here for the Capri Beauty Farm, situated within this hotel, with a list of treatments and the prices thereof. Use of the thalassotherapeutic swimming pool for 30 minutes comes in cheapest at €21, with an electrocardiogram at €50 and the curiously intriguing “Gentleman's Treatment” at €110, which, were it a less classy hotel, I would suspect to be a euphemism for something not unadjacent to a blowjob.

I'm also fond of the “hair treatment with clay & chocolate” which sounds very similar to riotious behaviour I once experienced in an Art lesson at the age of 12, and “breast beauty treatment”, which conjures up a nasty image of an oleagenous Italian doctor rubbing his hands while walking up to a young heiress and saying “So-a, shall we see what-a we can do with these-a, eh?” The most expensive thing here is “Food intolerance and allergy tests” at €350; Jenny tells me you can get them done for a tenner in Muswell Hill.

Out in the main square, a young well-dressed man was sitting by the taxi-rank, dispensing bizarre philosophy to passing tourists. “Hey,” he called gently to a middle-aged American couple. “All you gotta remember, is…” (now a pause for dramatic effect…) “Everything, is everything. Everything is everything. OK? Have a nice evening.” He didn't have a hat on the floor or anything, so I suppose he only has altruistic motives. He certainly made me think.

*

Next Thursday, Spearmint play at Water Rats again, and would have been supported by The French had the latter not had something of a “disagreement” with the owners of the venue, which I shan't go into here. And has dropped out too, as the bottom of the bill slot was deemed for solo performers only to avoid stacks of gear clogging up the stage, and Mr Bookish has gone and got himself a full band. So it's left to muggins here to kick off the show with 20 minutes of piano-led singalongs, or rather piano-led versions of Free French tunes. But now, I'm wondering whether I should slip a Hall & Oates cover version in my short set, to try and hasten the spreading of the “Good News” (which is what I'm calling a fondness for Hall & Oates.) So, a poll: