I must be ill.

Earlier I texted “Pete, u r the best, go pete, u will win luv rhodri from tooting” to I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Live, and have waited for 45 minutes for it to appear on the screen. Needless to say it hasn't. And now in writing this entry I've probably missed it.

If you text The Dating Channel, it appears almost instantly. Don't ask me how I know that.

And don't ask me how I know that the best Dating Channel moment was seeing some perma-tanned 25 year old bloke say “throughout my travels, I have become partial to Asian women”. Oh, how we laughed. Throughout my travels, I have become partial to lager from Bohemia, but I don't appear on cable TV asking it to contact me at box 6845. Git.

This evening, my friend I made a flatplan for our book. It will be 144 pages long. OK, most of the spreads just contain the words “something or other” but it's a start. It was my new year's resolution to get a book published by the end of the year. To have a flatplan done by the end of January isn't bad, considering I didn't know what a bloody flatplan was until 6 hours ago when aforementioned friend and previously published writer told me, with raised eyebrows.

I received an email last night, subject line “I Heart The Free French”. It's our first fan email in about 3 months. I volunteered to send her all the records she didn't have, at which point she became suspicious and called the police. Can't say I blame her. When will I learn not to have the same overbearing, insistent attitude towards Free French fans as I do towards potential girlfriends? “Rhodri, you're really nice.” “Why, thank you, here is my autobiography and the keys to my flat.”

A quiz.

a) what am I doing in my rubbish new user icon? (If you know, you cannot enter. Only guesses are accepted.)

b) Franz Ferdinand are a top 5 pop band. The Free French are a bottom 5 pop band. But my long suffering girlfriend was in a “gang” at the age of 7 called “The FF”. It didn't stand for Franz Ferdinand, or the Free French. They swore never to divulge what “FF” stood for. Anyone who guesses correctly what it did in fact stand for will win a canteen of cutlery. Although I won't be able to reveal if you have guessed correctly, for fear of being slain by ex-members of aforementioned gang. Still. Worth a shot.