I planned to take things easy last night, but the documentary on Agnetha Faltskog put paid to that, with significant distress occuring during a lengthy interview with the rabid fanatic Gert van der Graaf. He revealed himself to be a madman with a weight problem, who somehow persuaded the poor blonde chanteuse to have a 2-year relationship with him after buying a house a few hundred yards from her home and bombarding her with aggressively affectionate letters. “Yes, Agnetha was my first,” recalled the enormous balding Dutchman, with a grin on his face, tears in his eyes and a chubby hand on his groin. Extraordinary. This will give encouragment to stalkers worldwide, of course. “Listen, mate, if Gert can have Agnetha,” said Dave from Great Yarmouth, “then I can surely have ANY WOMAN IN THE WORLD! Now excuse me, there's work to be done.” Terrifying.