I have taken advantage of Ryanair's cheap flights deal in the nick of time, and am flying to Malmö for a long weekend in December. A strange choice for a holiday, you might think? Not so.

(I will now avoid telling you why not, in a pathetic gesture of secrecy and suspense that is appreciated by no-one and impresses even fewer.)

I'm listening to being interviewed on my mate Tim's show on Resonance FM. It's very funny and most entertaining. Although Crayola's penchant for any bandname that contains some kind of toilet humour never fails to not surprise.

In this block of flats, there are 6 flats. In number 2 live a few Chinese students. Their front room contains the BRIGHTEST light I've ever seen. During the evening, the beam emerging from the cracks in their curtains fills the entire street. In the middle of the night, one of them might get up to have a drink of water, and the whole of Tooting would awake, yawning, while in the distance a confused cockerel crows. I just went to the shops to buy a can of Old Jamaican Ginger Beer and had to shield my eyes as I approached the front door, in a Road To Damascus type-way.

My father has made me speaker stands, so my studio is finally complete. Sadly the instructions that I gave him over the phone (I should add that he is an ex woodwork teacher) were so pathetic that the items he brought to my flat this morning were just all wrong. We had to take them apart and reassemble them in a way not dissimilar to the method probably used by the guy who won the “wooden object” class at Spitalfields fair yesterday. This does not do justice to the staggering talent of my father to assemble perfect wooden items, with dovetail joints you would whistle at seductively were they sat sipping a Cosmopolitan in a hotel bar.