The perennial search for a flatmate. is departing SW17, and so I must find someone fresh, new and exciting to replace him. So.

Available presently:

Flatshare in Tooting Broadway. 5 minutes walk from Northern Line, 1 minute hobble to St George's Hospital Accident & Emergency. Sainsbury's, Sri Lankan video shops and Mercedes Benz showroom all within striking distance.

12ft x 12ft room, furnished or not furnished, (flexible, although if you start demanding period furniture I'll have to put my foot down.) For those not familiar with what 12ft x 12ft looks like, it's big enough to fling yourself around rather violently without touching the sides, probably not big enough to stage a baseball tournament. It's in need of redecoration, but that is happening imminently. It'll be as fresh as a daisy when you move in.

Kitchen, which is that room which has fridge, washing machine, cupboards, sink, salt and window, etc. Bathroom, which is that room which has toilet, bath, sink, annoying large overpriced candle (never lit) and another window.

My office, containing various bits of stationery and, generally, me. My room, which I need to get bloody decorated as well.

Pros:

– double glazing and central heating, a boon in winter, of questionable relevance in summer

– permanent high speed internet connection in yr room if you've got an ethernet port, or better still if your computer has an ethernet port.

– secure, friendly block of 6 flats, although slightly tatty. There's an entryphone buzz-people-up type thing.

– v quiet street except when the local city foxes are in mating season, short jog from A24 main road, well lit

Cons:

– church 10 doors down whose worshippers indulge in gospel stroke rock'n'roll style worship of a Saturday evening, or maybe that's your bag, in which case feel free to join in but don't bring the party back here. Although the place is useful on election day as it's the local polling station. These things are important.

– shared garden into which no-one should venture unless accompanied by 18 responsible adults and lengths of strong twine

Rent: 350 pounds / calendar month, plus half the gas & electricity bills, plus your phone calls, plus half the council tax which is about 25 quid a month. I cover internet and the water bills, i.e. life's essentials.

You will be sharing with a charming, benevolent 32 year old man who isn't around an awful lot but when he is makes fascinating and impressive conversation and won't get cross if you steal his milk, although theft of any electrical goods or furniture would be frowned upon.

Apply below.