wardatyork finally returned from India at the weekend, so a journey was made to Dalston last night to welcome her back. We were remarking on how mild it was for January, but she was shivering like a bastard in a thick, fleecey, er, overjacket. That’s what happens when you spend ten weeks in exotic Eastern destinations investigating toilets, people. Don’t do it.

A friend of hers, “B”, who frequents her local pub and who occasionally reads this blog, told a fantastic story about athlete, strongman and prize winning budgerigar breeder Geoff Capes. Until I was told last night, I had no idea that Geoff Capes was a prize winning budgerigar breeder, but as Geoff notes on said website, he will always strive for perfection, be it budgerigars, or bending a bloody huge iron bar around his neck. If you’ve often wondered about “The Geoff Capes Approach To Recessive Pieds”, get over there quick. Apparently, because of their dark markings, such birds are at a disadvantage on the show bench, which is obviously news to me, as is the existence of a show bench.

Annoyingly, I can’t remember the full details of the story, but it ended with “B” noticing that Geoff’s home telephone number is up on the website, so obviously he took up valuable working time to ring it and have a chat with Geoff. The conversation began well, but took a turn for the worse when Geoff was asked “So, what’s with all this budgerigar stuff, then?” and finally ended with Geoff saying “You’re taking the piss,” and slamming the phone down. I was assured by “B” that he certainly wasn’t taking the piss out of Geoff – I mean, who would dare – but when you have a roomful of office colleagues behind you and revelling in the fact that Geoff Capes is on the line, there’s always going to be a certain amount of giggling. Perhaps “B” would like to offer his apologies to Geoff publicly below, and maybe claw back some kind of respect in the budgerigar breeding community.