Can anyone recommend a South London builder? ? I need to get two walls dry-lined and plastered on March 21st. And a kitchen completely gutted and replaced. And all the builders I know are either very pleasant but completely uncommunicative, or communicative but live 100 miles away, or unpleasant and have a vast criminal record.

I also need an electrician to sort out the thermostat attached to my boiler which the last lot of builders left dangling from the wall with a disinterested shrug as they disappeared out of the door.

And a plumber to add thermostats to each of my radiators, sort out the water pressure in my bathroom, and to keep me praising 'til the break of day. Sing, Hosanna, Sing Hosanna…