I’ve just noticed that one of my favourite sites, The Rocking Vicar, has just introduced a twin-necked hall of fame. In a gesture of sheer bigheadedness I’ve just submitted myself for said hall of fame.

About 8 years ago I was in a band called Zuno Men. As jaunty Beefheartian skiffle merchants who didn’t give a hoot for protocol, our songs sometimes required me to play bass, and sometimes play guitar. Money was tight, and purchasing a twin necked guitar of the kind Rockette Morton used to sport with the Magic Band simply wasn’t an option. So we bought a cheap second hand bass, and a cheap second hand guitar. We sawed bits off. We rewired the electrics. And we glued the bastards back together.

This monster of an instrument weighed several stone, and during the three years I was in the band I was plagued with back trouble. Rehearsals were spent with me slumped in a corner on the floor rather than stand up for more than 30 minutes at a stretch. At one point we gouged huge lumps of wood out of the back of it to try and lessen the burden, but it had little effect.

By way of proof, here’s a JPG. It’s a still from the video for “Stay In With Me”, which had the honour of being Mark & Lard’s Single Of The Week on their Radio 1 show at some point in, uh, probably 1999, I guess. It went on to sell literally copies. We were almost signed to a major record label about 6 weeks later, but then they pulled out at the last minute, saying “we were only joking.”

The singer of Zuno Men was, of course, Keith John Adams.