This lunchtime I queued up in HSBC to pay in some cheques. Not for me
though, oh no, I yearn for the day when I get to pay in more than one cheque
in at a time. These were cheques made payable to my girlfriend; I had her
cheque/paying-in book in my hand, all completed with the various sums, grand
total, account number and so on. Jenny is skint (as she has failed to pay
these cheques in for weeks) so it was very important that they were paid in
today. As I stood in the long queue, I started imagining what would happen
if they refused to let me pay in the cheques. A whole scenario played out in
my mind, as I got increasingly worked up and angry.

R: I'd like to pay these cheques in, please.
C (that's C for cashier, you see): Certainly. Hang on, you're not the payee.
R: Well spotted.
C: Well, I'm afraid I can't let you pay these cheques in.
R: I'm sorry? Why on earth not?
C: Fraud.
R: Fraud? Don't be ridiculous, I'm paying these cheques IN! It's highly
unlikely that someone is going to complain to HSBC in the event that a
couple of thousand pounds suddenly lands in their account.
C: I'm sorry, sir, you're in possession of someone else's cheques and paying
in book, and I cannot process them.
R: It's my mother.
C: Sorry?
R: The cheques belong to my mother. She is old, and frail, and cannot leave
the house. She asked me to pay them in for her.
C: I see. Do you have identification?
R: Well, how is that going to help?
C: To prove that these cheques belong to your mother.
R: We… we, er, don't share the same surname. My father, er, left us when I
was a child, and she remarried, but I kept my father's surname.
C: Liar.
R: Excuse me? How DARE you call me a liar! My poor mother is at death's
door, lying at home in bed…
C: I'm sorry sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
R: If I'd been a woman, would you have asked for ID?
C: Sorry?
R: If I'd come in here, holding cheques and paying in book belonging to a
woman, and I was also a woman, you wouldn't even have noticed that I wasn't
the payee.
C: I suppose not.
R: Which goes to prove how f*cking idiotic you're being.
C: Get out.
R: Now, I kill you. Aieeee!

Of course, what actually happened, was:

R: I'd like to pay in these cheques, please.
C: Of course, sir. [stamping of cheques] Have a nice day.
R: Thank you.

Why do I get so worked up? What's wrong with me?